Catherine - I hope you didn't think I was implying your children didn't have chores. I can tell by your posts that your children are very responsible and you are a great mom!
I think that, if it were me and my husband was going to be gone for so long and the finances were extremely tight, I would prioritize much differently than I would in normal circumstances. First, and foremost, would be the kids. They need to be clean, fed and schooled. I would also need to be clean and fed as would any animals we had. I would include all clothes in this priority. Next would be anything I had to do to cut the budget to the bare bones. Hanging up laundry would go under here. I hang my laundry but am lucky we have a basement so I do everything down there which makes it easier. If I don't take it down, it can stay there until I get to it. Is there any way you can hang somewhere in the house? Basic cleaning, etc. would come after that. Anything else, if I had time, I would do it. If not, it would wait. Your windows are not going to fall off the house if they don't get washed during the time Earl is gone. This time next year, your circumstances will hopefully be much better and you can be proud of yourself for having survived a very difficult situation (again!).
Please don't be so hard on yourself. This is such an incredibly difficult situation and anyone would be stressed out. I feel stress just thinking about it!
Just a thought - will your parents be visiting while Earl is away? Would it be possible for them or even just your mom to visit to help out for a bit? For me, half the battle would be the fact that I was alone. Actually, I think it would be 75% of the battle!
Good luck! And please remember, we are always here if you need to vent or cry. I, for one, would be more than happy to give you my number if you ever need to talk.
Denise