Leah I understand your feeling completely. We were married 13 years before the kids came. We could do anything at any time, go to movies at a moment's notice and go on trips on a whim. Having kids does change all that of course and it's kind of hard when we have an extra long "honeymoon" phase. It's hard to drop what we want and take care of these little ones. Even though I wanted kids SO FREAKING BADLY and went through a lot to have them, I do look back longingly at times, especially when I feel spread extra thinly.
The last couple months, we found a way to kind of recapture that. I don't know if either of these plans will work for you, but maybe you can tweak it to fit you guys. 1 thing we do is about once a month or every other month (depending on how frazzled I am) trevor gives me a mom's day off (MDO) We plan it in advance and on a day when he can devote 100% of himself to the kids, I have the whole day off. I usually pack up my knitting and go to startbucks with my, nook and laptop. I get a venti drink, connect to the wifi and knit and read to my heart's content. I stay as long as I want and then I come home, lay on my bed and watch movies or nap or whatever I feel like. It goes from the moment I wake up till I go to sleep. At the end of the day, I feel completely renewed.
I return the favor to Trev by giving him a few evenings or saturday mornings a month where he can go shooting or do any of his hobbies undisturbed. I clean up dinner and put the kids to bed myself. This way we both get some "renew ourselves" time and we come back ready to face anything.
Another thing we do is we swap babysitting with Trev's sister. We watch their kids so they can go out and then they watch ours a different week. No one has to pay for a babysitter and everyone gets to go out on a date. It really helps us connect as a couple again where we can talk about something other than poop consistency and smashed grapes in the carpet.
These 2 things have saved my sanity. I LOVE my kids soooo much obviously, but sometimes I feel so tired and so much like a machine, I need that time away every once in a while.
As far as the stay up late thing goes, I'm in the same boat. The time feels endless and I like being able to complete a project before heading to bed. I'm working on not staying up quite so late, though.